E5
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
E5
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
G5
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
B5
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
E5 D5
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
G5 C5
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
A5 B5
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
C5 D5 Eb5
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
E5
When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white pinstripes, whoa-oh
C5 B5 A5 G5 E5
Everything goes according to plan
E5 D5
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
G5 C5
And you can't stand it
C5 B5
I know because you say so under your breath
C5 B5
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
E5 D5 G5 C5
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
C5 B5
Never looked better
E5 B5 C5 B5 C5 B5
And you can't stand it
(play along to the piano timing changes)
E5
Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
G5
I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
B5
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are the whispering campaign
B5
To them , your name is "Cheap", and you look like sh--
E5 D5
Talk to the mirror, choke back tears
G5 C5 C5 B5 A5
And keep telling yourself that, "I'm a diva."
A5 B5 C5
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box at your table
D5 Eb5 C5 B5 C5 B5
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin
(Chorus)
E5 D5 G5 C5
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
C5 B5 E5
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
E5
And I know, and I know
D5 G5 C5
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
C5 B5
I've never been so surreptitious
E5
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
(and repeat the chords)
And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch